feeling helpless...

So, I've been feeling a little helpless lately. My sailor feels really burnt out and stressed and I hate that I can't do anything for him. Or rather, that I can't actually be there for him. I can only do so much over the phone.

This weekend he was feeling extremely restless and kind of didn't know what to do with himself. He does hang out with some of the sailors he's made friends with, but a lot are either married or younger then him by a few years and he doesn't always want to do whatever they happen to be doing. So he doesn't always get the social relaxation, although he does relax a lot over the weekends which is good, because he definitely needs it after a very long week. Another reason I hate being so far away, because if I was there we could at least get out and do something over the weekends, whether it be a movie, dinner, just going out for a walk, something.

I think what broke my heart the most was that he was sounding kind of down and I asked him what I could do. His response, "nothing babe." Honestly, I literally almost burst into tears. I felt at such a loss of what to do or even say (and if you ask him, I am NEVER at a loss for words lol). He felt really bad and told me he didn't mean to make me feel bad or sad, it's just hard because he knows I want to help and I can't, and he hates that I can't either, because he knows it kills me and he wishes I was there too. He felt really bad. I told him it was ok, I just hate not being able to help.

I do my best to always remind him that I love him and support him. When he calls at night after getting back from his long day at school I do my best to be myself, upbeat, show him how excited I am to talk to him. (Side note, I literally fly through the air at night when I hear my phone ring and it's him. My mom laughs at how ridiculous I look jumping up and down, but I can't help it, talking to him is definitely the best part of my day!) I just do my best to make sure I do whatever I can do over the phone to make him know how proud I am, to distract him from all that's worrying him the best I can, and just be me.

This morning, I woke up to a text from him (I love waking up to good morning texts from him!). It said, "I love you baby thank you for always being there for me and being your awesome self have a great day." This definitely put a HUGE smile on my face for the rest of the day and made me feel a little better, that even though it feels like there is so little I can really do, he appreciates what I am doing and it helps him.

And I just sent off his Halloween/first year in the Navy care package after work today so hopefully it won't take too long to get there. He always tells me I spoil him with his care packages and he loves them. I didn't tell him either that I was sending one, let alone a dual one, so I'm hoping he's very surprised! :)

Hope everyone survived their Monday, I know I (just barely) did. Some of my students were a little more frustrating then usual today. Annnnd, I want to give a super big huge CONGRATULATIONS to Delainey @ Life As I know It, who got engaged over the weekend to her sailor!! YAAAAY!! So happy for you girl! :)